Over at Making a Living Writing, Carol Tice posted on How to Eliminate All Your Freelance Writing Obstacles. She questions, does it seem overwhelming, too hard? These questions are not only for freelance writers. They are universal to challenging, valuable pursuits, and so is the prescription.
She opens with a Yiddish folktale, which is well worth a minute to read. Then her suggestion: change your attitude. To get perspective on the obstacles in your life, list what you have going for you. As the first commenter said, it's just in time for Thanksgiving.
I don't think it directly addresses the feeling that something is overwhelming, but it does make one feel better to take stock of good things. Feeling happier can make difficult things seem more approachable.
Here's my gratitude list:- Wonderful, supportive boyfriend who adores me
- I'm in the best shape of my life
- My mom may have health and potential financial issues, but she's still alive and in good mental health
- I have a large, loving family
- Even if it is occasionally stretched by unexpected expenses, my boyfriend and I both have secure income
- I'm going to be an aunt for the first time in January, and two of my closest friends are having babies around the same time
- Everyone believes I have a bright future and many of them gladly help me along the way
- I have affordable basic healthcare
What's on your list?
I will return to school at the end of this weekend. I will have to make up for three missed weeks of classes and research.
I still plan to complete my prelim this semester. Excuse after excuse has delayed it for a year. No matter how valid they've all been, I'm tired of putting it off. I want it done so it doesn't hang over my head anymore and so I won't have to take more classes. I also learned yesterday that I am scheduled to give an oral presentation at the AMS Annual Meeting in January. On top of those, I need to renew my fellowship at the end of the calendar year.
Lucky for me, all of these goals are related to the same work: my PhD research. If I make good progress on that, all of these should be within reach. For the prelim, I add a proposal and oral defense. For the meeting presentation, I put together a short talk. Last, and probably least demanding, I write a progress summary to renew my fellowship. Sounds like a tall order, but those are my specialty.
That leaves writing and class out of the mix. I don't know what my new class deadlines will be, but they should be flexible since my adviser teaches the class. I don't know about writing. I really want to continue with everything I planned before. I think I'll try to and hope for the best.
Four days and I return to my life. It will be much the same as before, and yet forever different. More different than I have ever experienced. I never imagined life without my dad find me this soon.
Whether or not he is here, I will continue to make him proud of me. I am thankful for the time we had together and all he taught me.
Over-commitment gets interesting when I suddenly leave town for the fourth time in a little over three years. I'd give it all up to get rid of my dad's cancer. It's the only thing wrong with him.
My mom called me Saturday because she had to call a non-emergency ambulance for my dad. He couldn't stand up, which meant he couldn't get out of the house for treatment. When my mom called me to tell me about it, she was obviously having a very hard time with it. She couldn't even choke out that she wanted me to come home, but I knew she did. I packed a few changes of clothes and whatever else I thought I might need or want, washed any dirty dishes that might grow, and drove north.
My dad is not doing well. The doctors say he has weeks left at the most.
My mom and I are sharing primary care of him as part of home hospice care, which is more than a full-time job for each of us. We are glad we got to bring him home. Now family can visit whenever they want, Mom and I have more support, and we have better food. He is also more comfortable and receives closer attention. I know this is the best place for him.
I cannot fulfill my copyediting duties because I can only do them in the newsroom. I may be able to write for the university engineering and science magazine. I can work on research and news bureau stuff from here, too. However, I have no idea when I can fit it in between all my other responsibilities right now.
I'd like to keep up with my commitments, but family is priority right now. My adviser said to focus on family, that everything else is extraneous. I intend to follow that advice. Most of my time here I watch after Mom or Dad. Most of the leftovers I make sure legal and financial affairs are in order for my parents and for me or call friends for support and a break.
I am glad I have a big family so we can help each other through this hard time. They are invaluable in my Dad's care. We could not have brought him home without their help. Aunts and uncles help third shift, more aunts and uncles help first shift, and we have a full house second shift.
Even though this is a heartbreaking situation, I feel lucky for everything else in my life.
(Note the lack of hyphen between the words fifth and longest in the title.)
I am happy to say that I lived through 75 miles of biking and 5.5-6 hours in the saddle. It went better than I expected. I now have more confidence that I'll reach my goal to ride a century this summer. I'm tired and a little delirious between the ride and not getting enough sleep this week, but a good night of sleep tonight should do worlds of good.
Before I incur the wrath of the weather gods for granting my wishes, I must credit them for giving me and my fellow riders a beautiful day. The rain held off until well after the ride was over, the temperature was perfect, and the sun was shining. The wind was a little bothersome at times, but nothing to incite crankiness. I've had much worse riding near Grad School Town.
Lastly, I giggled with excitement yesterday when I saw that the great goddess Dr. Isis kindly mentioned my little blog. Perhaps she spoke with her colleagues in godliness?
While my silence here may not be unusual, the reason for it is. Here's the (abbreviated) story of the past few days.
My dad had a persistent headache for two or three weeks when my mom finally convinced him to see the doctor last week. The doctor scheduled an MRI for him this past Monday. The MRI showed a lime- or lemon-size intracranial mass (read: brain tumor) and he was immediately admitted to the hospital. I drove from Grad School Town back to Hometown on Tuesday, barely a week after I'd made the same drive the other way returning from my holiday visit. I packed enough clothes for a week since I had no idea how long I'd be staying.
The surgery to remove the tumor went "as well as [the doctors] hoped." They took out almost everything they intended to, leaving a little behind to avoid unnecessarily damaging his brain. Three hours after the surgery, my dad was looking around and chatting with everyone just as he was before the surgery. His recovery is going very well so far, so we are all relieved and happy. We still don't know what lays ahead for his continued recovery, but we are extremely thankful just to have him return from surgery as the same person.
I slept at the hospital Tuesday and Wednesday night. Last night I slept at my gramma's house since things seemed to have settled a bit more at the hospital. Shortly after I returned to the hospital today, Dad moved to the regular neurology wing. That means he has a private room, fewer monitors, and less frequent nursing checks. He and Mom should sleep better tonight. I'm sleeping at their house tonight and will return to the hospital tomorrow.
Dad will probably stay at the hospital at least through the weekend. We are taking it day-by-day until the pathology report comes in (probably by Wednesday). That should help us lay out a more long-term plan. Dad keeps saying he's going to fight this as hard as he can for his wife, his kids, and the rest his family and friends. "You can't hurt steel."
I don't know when I'll return to Grad School Town. Luckily, I brought everything I need if I get a chance to work or don't make it back in time for classes. Hopefully that will keep me from starting the semester too far behind. Posting may be sparse and/or brief.
It may be a bit of a cliche topic, but helpful things and people deserve recognition. Thanksgiving is a good time to remember that.
I'm thankful to have a secure, steady income. That's partly due to my advisor, partly due to the DoE, partly due to department policy. Between the three of them, they will not leave me without a paycheck unless I catastrophically fail (which then makes it my own damn fault).
I'm thankful that my advisor has been extremely flexible and let me chart my own path through grad school. It certainly isn't traditional, but so far it's working for me. He also makes my work easier by providing all the technical goodies I need or want (within reason :) ). Thank you, advisor!
I have to acknowledge my friends, family, research groupmates, and professors for their undying support through personal and professional challenges. I would be much worse off now if they hadn't been so understanding.
Despite all the difficulties of the past 2+ years, things are going surprisingly well. I attribute that largely to a supportive environment and understanding people. I suppose I should take some credit for it too, but that seems rather unimportant because this is just the way I function. Everything else is extra :)
Forgive me, advisor, for I have stalled. It has been seven weeks since I've done research and at least two since I've backed up my computer. I really want to get back to research, I swear. The personal issues are nearly resolved, so I hope this will happen soon.
Granted, I finished my master's in two years while carrying a heavy load of person ordeals and TAing a semester (not common in my department). And I haven't backed up my computer because I recently wiped its hard drive, haven't done any research since then, and need to reformat my backup drive as well. Perhaps I should just blame the equipment... except that my guilty conscience is less understanding than my advisor and would never accept that excuse.
I am quite lucky that my advisor has been so accommodating. My current situation would be much worse without that.
Thank you.
