Bye Dad

My dad passed early this morning.

I will always love you, Dad. I will always miss you.

Family comes first

Over-commitment gets interesting when I suddenly leave town for the fourth time in a little over three years. I'd give it all up to get rid of my dad's cancer. It's the only thing wrong with him.

My mom called me Saturday because she had to call a non-emergency ambulance for my dad. He couldn't stand up, which meant he couldn't get out of the house for treatment. When my mom called me to tell me about it, she was obviously having a very hard time with it. She couldn't even choke out that she wanted me to come home, but I knew she did. I packed a few changes of clothes and whatever else I thought I might need or want, washed any dirty dishes that might grow, and drove north.

My dad is not doing well. The doctors say he has weeks left at the most.

My mom and I are sharing primary care of him as part of home hospice care, which is more than a full-time job for each of us. We are glad we got to bring him home. Now family can visit whenever they want, Mom and I have more support, and we have better food. He is also more comfortable and receives closer attention. I know this is the best place for him.

I cannot fulfill my copyediting duties because I can only do them in the newsroom. I may be able to write for the university engineering and science magazine. I can work on research and news bureau stuff from here, too. However, I have no idea when I can fit it in between all my other responsibilities right now.

I'd like to keep up with my commitments, but family is priority right now. My adviser said to focus on family, that everything else is extraneous. I intend to follow that advice. Most of my time here I watch after Mom or Dad. Most of the leftovers I make sure legal and financial affairs are in order for my parents and for me or call friends for support and a break.

I am glad I have a big family so we can help each other through this hard time. They are invaluable in my Dad's care. We could not have brought him home without their help. Aunts and uncles help third shift, more aunts and uncles help first shift, and we have a full house second shift.

Even though this is a heartbreaking situation, I feel lucky for everything else in my life.

Summer... break?

The semester is finally over and I have chaotic plans for the summer. The foundation involves bouncing around the Midwest and Mid-Atlantic US. Then I'll fill time between travel with everything else.

It's already started. Actually, it started before the semester truly ended. I spent a week and a half in Wisconsin, after the end of classes and before my sole final exam, helping my parents while my dad started chemo. I've been in Grad School Town for a week and a half. Naturally, I'm leaving again tomorrow for Wisconsin. I'll be there three weeks this time for various events that happen to be spaced a few days apart and another week of heavy chemo for my dad.

Beyond the next few weeks, I have a trip to Tennessee in August and a trip to Virginia and DC at some point. I don't have many solid plans--just an idea of what I want and need to do. The only reason I know when I'll be in Tennessee is because someone else planned the timing. I hope to make it to New York, too, but that might have to wait until the fall.

Filling in between the travel, I'm taking a class on copy-editing through mid-late July. I like writing and I want to take advantage of free classes while I have the chance. It can't hurt to improve my self-editing skills, plus I might want to be a science writer after grad school.

I also met with my advisor this week to set some research goals. We want a full draft of the paper from my MS by June 4th at 5pm. I know I've set goals like this before, but this one feels more reasonable. I really want to get this out of the way so I can move on to the next step. I'm talking about the prelim, of course. I'll spend the rest of the summer preparing that so I am not required to take a class in the fall.

Then there's random bike events, which are mostly not planned yet. I'm registered for a 75-mile ride in Milwaukee on June 6th as part of the Ride for the Arts. I'll attend jujitsu when I get a chance in Grad School Town. When I'm in Wisconsin, I'll spend time with my family and help my parents keep up with their lives. I also hope to fit in some cooking, reading, hiking, writing, movies, and dancing.

It'll be a packed few months, for sure! I think I'll make it... :P

Quick update, details in subsequent posts

Sorry for the extended absence. I believe life is under some sort of control again such that I can return to blogging.

It turns out that my dad's tumor is more complicated than they originally thought. It is a mish-mash of three different kinds, so they can't tell us much about it. My family and I are forced to take the news as it comes rather than having some idea of what is next.

Dad is half-way through his first round of chemo and radiation. He's doing as well as we can expect given the fact that they're irradiating and poisoning his body. He's only had a little loss of appetite and some fatigue. We are happy with the state of things right now.

As far as school, I think I'm slowly getting back to where I was. I have new/additional plans to give me direction since the past plans didn't seem to help enough. I've enlisted outside help in the form of a career counselor. I want a better idea of my eventual career goal so I have a more solid idea of where I'm going.

In the mean time, I purchased a new-to-me bike for a very reasonable price: 2002 Giant TCR zero. If I plan to ride a century (100mi) this summer (which I do), a road bike is extremely useful. The only problem right now is that I don't know how much money I have due to slow university bureaucracy and I still need to buy some accessories for the bike (shoes, gloves, etc.).

In short, life is almost its normal, busy self and I'm enjoying it.

good and bad and lost

My dad's brain tumor is cancerous and fast-growing. The surgery removed most of it. He went home from the hospital last Saturday and found out the basic diagnosis on Wednesday. He has an appointment next Tuesday to get the details and lay out treatment. I'm hoping for relatively good news and not bothering to prepare for bad news because I don't see any way to do that.